The arrival of a child in a home changes all the landmarks of personal and intimate life. The education of children, the happiness it brings but also the constraints it implies, upsets our relationship to time, to daily life, to ourselves. How to be fully mom and fully woman at the same time? This is the dilemma that every mother faces at one time or another!
Summary
Learn to manage your time
The first challenge for any woman who becomes a mother is that of time management. Everyday life can quickly turn into an accumulation of organizational constraints under which all women’s aspirations gradually disappear. How to give them (or give back) a place?
Organize constraints
Whether you are raising your children alone or living as a couple, the observation is often the same: each day brings its share of imperatives related to the day of the children. Driving to school, to the nursery or to the nanny, shopping, extra-curricular activities, medical appointments… The list is long of the tasks that are essential and come to punctuate the course of family life.
It is therefore essential to distribute the deadlines so that each day does not turn into an exhausting marathon in which you forget yourself. Do not hesitate, for example, to ask the children to choose between several activities. You will not be able to be on Monday at football, on Tuesday at the piano, on Wednesday at horse riding and so on. While listening to everyone, it is beneficial to lead children to select their desires.
Leave room for selfish pleasures
These busy schedules, to which professional constraints are added, generate fatigue and frustration if one lets oneself be caught up. However, in forgetting oneself, one ends up resenting the children, even unconsciously. The feeling of self-sacrifice is likely to bring tension and anger.
It is important to take selfish breaks, alone or with friends, without the children. These reunions with oneself which offer the opportunity to take a step back, to refocus are the imperative condition to better apprehend family life with happiness.
Read also: How to limit stress for the arrival of baby
Put away the guilt
There is no guilt to be had! We sometimes get the wrong idea of what children expect of us. Maybe they will be happy to spend a few hours with a babysitter during your movie nights. No doubt they will be happy to stay a weekend from time to time with their grandparents.
The moments when you take the time to be the woman you need to be are as many recharged batteries to be the mother you want to be. Do not hesitate, therefore, to entrust the children, to organize their time according to your beaches of pleasure and relaxation.
Let go and lighten the mental load
Combining life as a woman and life as a mother harmoniously invites you to let go. It is sometimes difficult to put your good intentions towards yourself into practice. however, a few simple steps are enough to achieve what was thought to be unthinkable.
Asking for help and collaboration at home
If you carry the burden of running the house on your shoulders alone, the weight becomes a burden! As a mother, we often impose a large number of domestic constraints on ourselves without agreeing to delegate certain tasks to the children. Yet they live at home too!
Giving up on perfection (or the idea that we have of it…)
Are you hesitant to entrust your teenager with the ironing of his T-shirts? Do you think your youngest child is too young to fill the dishwasher? You tend to want to save. Yet your children won’t learn to start a machine, run the dishwasher, or make their bed overnight. By entrusting them with certain household chores, you allow them to learn and build their adult lives.
This better distribution of tasks means that your role as a mother is not defined through domestic maintenance tasks. Being a fulfilled mother also means giving everyone time to listen, to share, to live a joyful life. And by relieving yourself of certain burdens related to household chores, you free up time for yourself. Having a coffee while chatting with the person doing the dishes rather than busying yourself alone is quite different!
Seduce and seek fulfilling sexuality
Feeling fully female also means agreeing to please, to seduce one’s companion, one’s companion if one lives as a couple or potential partners.
Take care of your appearance: look alike
The main pitfall in becoming a mother is to give up playing the game of seduction and give up taking care of your appearance. You then distance yourself from yourself. Sometimes, we even no longer recognize each other physically.
However, pleasing oneself, in order to please others, is one of the pillars of intimacy and femininity. Make time to go to the hairdresser, the beautician, the spa. Keep wanting to feel beautiful! Your children will be even more satisfied. It’s so rewarding for a child to be proud of a mother who takes care of her.
Make your bedroom an intimate refuge
Your bedroom must remain a private domain in which you are fully a woman. Your intimacy must remain the secret garden of your desires and your fantasies. Even if it is always pleasant to share small hugs with the family on the weekend, your room must above all be your place. According to Topelle, do not hesitate to make lingerie the ally of your evenings as a couple, let yourself go by listening to your desires. Sexual fulfillment and your happiness as a couple are one of the keys to your fulfillment as a mother.
